More than a white dress
In the midst of the Syrian crisis, girls rise to end child marriage

"I will wear a white dress and have a home and children. I can have the nice house I used to dream about in Syria."
Those were Ghazal's first thoughts when she heard about her upcoming marriage. She was 13.
Three years before, her father was killed in the Syrian conflict. Weeks later, Ghazal's mother fled across the border to Lebanon with her four daughters to keep them safe.
"We met during the engagement, after the marriage was decided. Three months later I fell pregnant with our first child, Hana. And two months after she was born, our second child Abas was on the way," Ghazal explains.
Right on cue, Abas, now three years old, smiles and reaches out to his mother for a hug.
"There are difficulties that we're overcoming," reveals Ghazal, with her son in her arms.
"We're not stable. We stay for two months in a house and then we move. We don't know if we will go back to Syria. If we go back, they will take my husband immediately."
Her husband Khalid, who was 19 at the time of their marriage, explains:
"I've been very tense for the last few days. I feel like I'm 50 years old. There are long periods without work. I've been offered a job, but I can't go.
"The other day, a guy who used to work with me went out to look for work and he was sent back to the border. His mother searched for him and was told he's in Syria. This guy is finished.
"My dad was killed by the [Syrian] regime and all of our properties were confiscated. If I try to go back, that's it for me. I will be killed or put in jail.
"They don't think that you're leaving a wife and children behind. That you're searching for work and not for corruption. The Syrian people here just want to work for a living.
"We have about three months in this house. After that, how will I look after my family? I tell Ghazal, let's not talk about what will happen or what I will do."
"We don't know what will happen," Ghazal adds.

Displaced from home

"The people who have come to Lebanon are in a dire situation," explains Elissar, an Adolescent Girls Officer with the International Rescue Committee (IRC). She's spent the last two years working with adolescent girls from Syria who are living as refugees in Lebanon.

As part of her job, Elissar supports girls at risk of early marriage in Lebanon
As part of her job, Elissar supports girls at risk of early marriage in Lebanon
"Their distress is evident during the sessions we provide, as most of the girls have spoken about the situations they lived through in Syria. They faced the war that was raging there and when they came to Lebanon they faced even more difficulties."
Many girls will have left behind friends, family and comfortable homes in Syria. Now they might live in tents, in crowded settlements or unstable conditions.
"There are a lot of problems in Lebanon. It can be difficult for girls to accept their new environment.
"That's why I work with teenage girls. They are vulnerable and need support.
"We might try to treat the tragedy they have experienced. To show them that life must go on, and that they shouldn't give up.
"In each session we highlight that life shouldn't stop and not to think negatively. To try and think positively, that one day you might be able to go back to your country and you will have your own home and your own life."
A refugee settlement is no easy place for a girl to grow up. And the conflict has put girls at greater risk of another threat: child marriage.
It's not a new phenomenon. Child marriage is a form of violence against women and girls. It is rooted in gender inequality and it was an issue long before the conflict. According to Syria’s personal status law, the age of marriage in Syria is 18 for males and 17 for females, with an exception to decrease the age of the girl to 13 years old if three conditions are met: puberty, the approval of a judge, and the consent of a guardian, father or grandfather.
What is new, however, are the escalating rates of marriage of Syrian girls at younger ages. And it's being exacerbated by the war.
With dwindling options for work and scarce resources, marrying their daughters is seen as one of the only viable options for families. This is coupled with parents' growing fear for their daughter's safety and honour outside of their homes.
"Parents tell us about people who stand on the side of the road harassing or stealing from their daughters on the way to school," Elissar describes.
Stuck at home in crowded tents or settlements, some girls even talk about marriage as a way to get back a sense of freedom and security.
"They think of escaping the reality and difficulty of their life, and consider marriage. Sometimes a girl leaves one problem and finds herself in an even bigger problem."
Elissar and her team work hard to prevent early marriage, but for many girls it's not possible. The decision is out of their hands.
"We're in a community where parents make the decisions. In these cases, we share vital information and skills with married and engaged girls to improve their well-being and build their resilience to violence in their lives."
IRC teams also work closely with girls' parents and communities who play an influential role in the lives of girls to help provide a protective and supportive environment. They raise awareness of the risks of child marriage and gender-based violence and highlight alternatives to marrying their daughters.
Marriage often ends girls’ opportunities for education, paid work and decision-making roles in their communities.
"Lots of the married girls I work with say that they are 'a child raising a child'. That's a really sensitive matter for them.
"One girl told me that when her child cries, she doesn't know what to do so she cries with him."
"There can be a lot of difficulties living with her in-laws. She's now under someone else's control and cannot make her own decisions," Elissar explains.
The IRC programme encourages girls to explore other roles for themselves through sessions on gender inequality, decision-making in the home, and healthy relationships.
"There are also physical issues. Especially for girls who married early. That's why we give sessions related to reproductive health, pregnancy care and family planning.
"With most of the girls, I feel that I am achieving something. Especially with those who were married young as they really affect me. I feel it when I give specific sessions such as raising their awareness on legal transactions and on health issues. I really see a result.
"Many girls told us how much they benefitted from our information, and how they are using it."
Girls feel less isolated and able to negotiate with their husbands.
"It gives them self-confidence."



At the start of her marriage, Ghazal was part of IRC's Life Skills for Early Marriage sessions. She met with a group of girls twice a week for five months.
"I used to be very happy to go, I learned things and I benefitted from it a lot. I met other girls and we used to talk and share our stories and learn from each other's experience."
Ghazal smiles as she tells us how she is still in regular contact with some of her friends from the group.
"I visit Amar and Nour, and we talk on the phone," she explains.
"We covered so much together. We learnt things. Now I know that I should have a role in society.
IRC's 'Expressing My Feelings' session has left a lasting impression on Ghazal. She describes how she's learnt to express and understand her emotions and in turn maintain a healthier relationship with husband.
"I would tell Khalid about what we learned at the sessions as soon as I got home. He noticed a lot of changes.
"We used to fight every month, and not talk to each other for a week. Now we fight more than ten times a day but we reconcile straight away. We've learnt to compromise."
Khalid agrees with Ghazal.
"You have to compromise with everyone, adults and children. And we're under pressures. I've been sitting without work for almost 20 days. I am waiting and hoping for the best," he adds.
"Life would be even harder if we fought over trivial things."
Ghazal credits her time with the group of girls for providing her with a support network and the tools to create a positive home environment for her young family.
Although Ghazal wasn't able to prevent her own early marriage, she's determined to use what she's learned with IRC to make a difference for other girls in her family.
"I learnt that to get married, a person should be mature and their body should be developed. I was very young. I didn't know how to bathe a baby."
Khalid also now recognises how marrying Ghazal at a young age has impacted her.
"When I married Ghazal, I was happy to get married. But then after a few months I felt bad.
"When she got pregnant, she suffered a lot. She was sick. And when she gave birth to Hana, I wished I could go inside the delivery room to take her place. She was crying and hurting."
Ghazal adds: "I love my kids and I have a good husband. My mum is also living with me. These things of course make me happy.
"But I wish I had finished my education.
"When a girl grows up, education is her tool."
Equipped with knowledge and experience, Ghazal supported her sister to follow a different path.
After her youngest sister failed her school year, Ghazal's mother decided that it was time to marry her off.
When a marriage proposal came, Ghazal took matters into her own hands. Khalid nods with pride as Ghazal describes what happened next.
"I told my mother that we should let my sister retake her classes. She shouldn't have to marry, stay at home and give up her education and future. She was too young. My mother abandoned the idea.
"I felt happy for my sister. Now she will continue her studies."

A mother's promise

"We don't want Hana to marry until she's finished her studies," Ghazal says as she strokes her daughter's hair.
"She will decide if she wants to get married or not. And only when she's 18 and able to understand what marriage means.
"I want her to finish her education and to have a good future.
"I also hope that we will have a nice home to live in together. Hana would love to have her own room painted pink, a phone and toys. I wish for her that her dream comes true."
Ghazal lights up as she describes her children and their different personalities.
"Abas is simple. He likes to eat and he likes to go out with his dad," she tells us.
Four-year-old Hana is more of a handful.
Ghazal recalls how some lessons from her time in the IRC sessions have helped her to manage her daughter.
"I practise patience, instead of using violence," she explains.
"Hana helps me a lot with chores. But she is strong-willed. She likes to get her own way."
As we're speaking, Hana is desperate to show us her pride and joy: a paddling pool on the balcony.
"She's been talking about it all summer," Ghazal explains. Whenever she saw a pool when we were out, she would ask to swim in it. I had to tell her that she couldn't as she didn't know the owners.
"She kept going on about it until my mother said that she would buy one. Now the kids have a small pool we bought for 13,000 Lebanese Pounds (around $9 USD).
"Hana loves it. She jumps in and out of the pool. She tells me she's cold before she gets back in. She gets water everywhere," Ghazal laughs.

Undeterred by doubts over the future and driven by her experiences of early marriage, Ghazal is carving a different path for the girls around her.
Whilst Ghazal hopes for a bright future for her sister and daughter, her husband Khalid also has dreams for his family.
"I feel sad that Ghazal is young. She just found herself with kids and responsibilities. She didn't even have the joy of a wedding or a white dress," Khalid laments.
"I tell her, that if things get better, in 30 years, we will throw a wedding party. We'll do it even if our kids are grown up.
"I will take her to a resort or a chalet. We'll take photos and have a photo album for both us. This is something we didn't get to have."
"If life becomes more stable, I will do everything I can for both of us to be happy."

Building brighter futures in Bekaa valley

It's a sweltering afternoon in late July, and a group of girls are trickling into a tent in an informal settlement in Lebanon's Bekaa Valley, less than 30 kilometres from the Syrian border.

Conflict has been raging in Syria for almost nine years, and the valley is home to more than 350,000 Syrians who have crossed the border to Lebanon for safety.
A fan is whirring, and there is a steady hum of noise as the girls chat and laugh together. All of them live minutes away in tents dotted around the makeshift camp.
They're all here for a 'Life Skills through Drama' workshop run by International Rescue Committee. For months, these girls will come together in this safe space every week to build their self esteem, form solid friendships and learn about their rights and how to prevent early marriage.
There are separate sessions for married girls like Ghazal who are often invisible, with little access to the education, services or support they need. These sessions empower girls to lead a more healthy and fulfilling life, understand their power as women and increase their access to healthcare, education and economic support.
Today's group of girls are between 11 and 13 years old. many of them won't remember a time before the conflict.
As the group sit down along the walls of the tent, their workshop leader Nahla sorts through pens, paper and art materials, making sure everything is ready.

Nahla Issa, Senior Adolescent Girls Officer at IRC
Nahla Issa, Senior Adolescent Girls Officer at IRC
Before they start, the girls write their rules for the session on a large sheet of paper. They agree to respect, not judge or interrupt each other. Each of them signs their name on the sheet and Nahla tapes it to the wall of the tent.

Girls sign their names in agreement to the session rules
Girls sign their names in agreement to the session rules
After a round of games to help build trust, Nahla hands each girl paper and lays out pens, scissors, glue sticks, ribbons and pieces of fabric. There's excitement across the room as girls reach for bright coloured pens and ribbons. They've been tasked with drawing a self portrait and writing their hobbies, skills and everything they like about themselves alongside it.
20 minutes later, Nahla asks for a volunteer to present their portrait. Hands shoot up as the girls hope to be picked. One by one they present their pictures to the group, describing their talents and how they're proud to be good friends, siblings, daughters and students. Finally they share their hopes and dreams. Dreams of becoming doctors, teachers, journalists and university students.

Many of the girls also share a common wish: to be able to go back to Syria, to visit their friends, to play and to go to the souk (market).
The girls are asked if they want to marry yet and all of them respond in unison with a resounding: "no". They agree that they want to wait until they are at least 20 years old as marriage is a big responsibility.
Some of the girls share how they have friends outside of the group who are already married.
But this group of girls are determined to stop the cycle of early marriage. They will not be child brides.

At the end of the session and the group joins together to sing one of their favourite songs:
"I love to study, and to live in security. To always be aware and beautiful, morning and night.
"To draw with ink a picture that is clear for the world, that through our cooperation and collaboration, we will reach the highest heights.
"With education, things will be nice and tomorrow will be better day."
How you can help


Founded in 1933, the International Rescue Committee (IRC) responds to the world’s worst humanitarian crises and helps people to survive, recover and gain control of their future.
With operations in a wide range of countries, the IRC delivers programmes focused on preventing and responding to violence against women and girls.

Every year, 12 million girls marry before the age of 18. Child marriage happens across countries, cultures and regions.
Girls Not Brides is a global partnership is made up of over 1,300 organisations like International Rescue Committee who are working to end child marriage and support girls to reach their full potential.
Find out more about Girls Not Brides.
Photos & video: Girls Not Brides/Thom Pierce
Words: Yasmin Macé
Sexual and Gender-based Violence in Lebanon
Sexual and Gender-based violence (SGBV) remains a concern for women and girls in Lebanon.
Unaccompanied girls, single heads of households, child mothers/spouses, and women and girls living with disabilities are particularly exposed to safety and SGBV risks. According to Inter-agency data on SGBV, the most reported type of violence involved physical violence (36%) mainly linked to domestic violence. 15% of reported cases are incidents of sexual violence, of which 4% are incidents of rape.
SGBV survivors may be unsafe in their homes and community but are unlikely to seek support due to the fear of facing a continued cycle of physical and sexual violence, being shamed, stigmatised, rejected, or even killed in so-called honour-based violence.
Check out the GBV Responders website for the latest research on the issue of gender-based violence in emergencies.
Are you or is someone you know experiencing violence in Lebanon? Call IRC in Lebanon for help: (00961) 81666571 ( Bekaa governorate) or (00961) 76777837 ( Akkar Governorate)

